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2.3 How to Get Your Phone Robbed on the Metro

  1. Choose the busiest line (like linea 1) at at time where times are less frequent and wait time is 15 minutes, meaning a million people are on the train already and a million more are waiting to get on.
  2. Squish in and stand right in the middle surrounded by people with your two other friends.
  3. Put your phone in your pocket instead of your purse that you are hugging tightly in front of you, but keep your hand in your pocket for MOST of the time.
  4. Talk loudly in English with your two friends about what dick the guy that just came in is being as he pushed two of you just to get in.
  5. Talk about getting robbed on the metro and have one of your friends jinx one of you by recalling a friend who almost got robbed but who was able to stop it from happening.
  6. As the metro comes to a stop at the Sol metro stop, proceed to lose your balance due to the fact that the entire world wants to exit and you are in their way.
  7. Take your hand out of your pocket, zip it up quickly (your pockets have zippers) and hold onto whoevers in front of you to avoid from creating a domino effect.
  8. As everyone leaves (your friends included except you because you’ve decided not to go out with them) regain composure and manically check your pockets and purse for your phone.
  9. Realize you’ve just been jacked as the doors of the metro close
  10. Call/Text your phone to ask them to give it back for money.
  11. Call your carrier and let them know it has been stolen.

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